Eight Steps of Forgiveness from Martha Stewart Living

Can You Really Forgive?
by Brian Cronin, December 2011 issue, pages 105-107

He claims that nothing is unforgivable.

Step 1: Choose, intend and say you will make a change. Place an empty chair in front of you and visualize the one you want to forgive. Say: "I will forgive you now, because..."Go on and say things like: "I have carried this long enough..."

Step 2: Express your emotions, or truths that need to be spoken. Feel your pain and say your feelings for 20 minutes. Cry if you have to, or punch a pillow. I say do this alone, and then with a trusted friend, or even with the person if they allow you.

Step 3: Release expectations from your mind. This is hard for me to do. I expect people to act in a minimal level of integrity or humanity, as I would (usually ;). He writes that you can accept that people are how they are and will not change. See what you expect and say: "I would have preferred if you..." and other such statements. Imagine your attachment to your expectation dissolving or flying away.

Step 4: Restore your boundaries. You assign that person full responsibility for their actions. Visualize a bubble or what works for you around you as a healthy boundary. See the other person farther and farther away. I would say this may hurt. Imagine you are totally unattached.

Step 5: Get your needs met a different way. Love yourself. I say: Turn to your religious and spiritual beliefs, go to nature, a journal, dance, friends, meeting new people, etc. Imagine being unattached to this person. Raise your arms above, asking God or the Universe to get your needs met a different way. Be willing to receive. I say: This last step may be more difficult than you think. I will blog more about this in the future.

Step 6: Receive healing energy. Imagine light from above and from inside filling you with unconditional love and healing you. Be open from your first chakra down.

Step 7: Send unconditional love to this person. You don't have to be friends, but send love to make your life lighter. Say: "I send you this higher love, and I release you to be yourself. And I release myself from you."

Step 8: See the good in the person you are forgiving. It is like seeing the glass half full. Think of some good qualities they had and good times you had together. I say think they did the best they could given where they were in their evolution. (That can be a bit condescending.;))See what you learned from the experience, like becoming stronger or more compassionate and forgiving.







My third book, Pocket Guide to Fitness, is available on www.louizapatsis.com, http://www.Authorhouse.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com and http://www.Amazon.com. If you look up my name on those Web sites, you will find my other books The Boy in a Wheelchair and Life, Work and Play: Poems and Short Stories.

Face to Face Time

Here is a great newspaper article from the Sunday New York Times on how it is important to spend face to face time with people - see their expressions, use all five senses, etc.
At least in cities, we are doing this less and less.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/04/opinion/sunday/actual-conversation-so-yesterday.html?pagewanted=all

My third book, Pocket Guide to Fitness, is available on www.louizapatsis.com, http://www.Authorhouse.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com and http://www.Amazon.com. If you look up my name on those Web sites, you will find my other books The Boy in a Wheelchair and Life, Work and Play: Poems and Short Stories.

Women, Spirituality and Transformative Leadership Where Grace Meets Power Edited by Kathe Schaaf, Kay Lindahl, Kathleen S. Hurty, PhD, and Reverend Guo Cheen

Women, Spirituality and Transformative Leadership

Where Grace Meets Power

Edited by Kathe Schaaf, Kay Lindahl, Kathleen S. Hurty, PhD, and Reverend Guo Cheen

Check it out: It seems great! Women are usually not thought of as spiritual leaders in most countries (if not all).

http://www.skylightpaths.com/page/product/978-1-59473-313-0?utm_source=Email+Updates&utm_campaign=6976dbe886-Fundraising_2011_Fall_2&utm_medium=email

My third book, Pocket Guide to Fitness, is available on www.louizapatsis.com, http://www.Authorhouse.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com and http://www.Amazon.com. If you look up my name on those Web sites, you will find my other books The Boy in a Wheelchair and Life, Work and Play: Poems and Short Stories.

Humanism

I think UNESCO is great. Here is one part of the Latest UNESCO Courier. I don't think humanism opposes religion. It can bring us together. Enjoy the 56 pages.

http://unesdoc.unesco.org/images/0021/002130/213061e.pdf#page=6

My third book, Pocket Guide to Fitness, is available on www.louizapatsis.com, http://www.Authorhouse.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com and http://www.Amazon.com. If you look up my name on those Web sites, you will find my other books The Boy in a Wheelchair and Life, Work and Play: Poems and Short Stories.

Great Story on Mature Relationships and Men

This story is mentioned in Women Who Run with the Wolves by Estes

http://candidsparrow.wordpress.com/2010/12/06/the-skeleton-woman-an-inuit-story/

Puttanesca

Aside from liking the catchy name, which connotes sexual freedom for women, and fun for all, I enjoyed going to the upper west side hotspot Puttanesca after my Alvin Ailey samba class. The high-ceilinged, brick-walled airy restaurant with huge windows was a comfortable spot, formal but not too formal, to enjoy a moment alone with my New York Times and some work. It's a great place for a romantic dinner, taking the family out on the town or having a casual business meeting.

The service was great. The food choices were explained. A free cappuccino was brought to me later when I complained about the coffee. It tasted watery and cheap. The cappuccino made up for it. I would have preferred that there was a dress code, but on a summer's day, with little children there, I could understand why shorts and sneakers were allowed.

I enjoyed a simple primo dish of spinach cheese ravioli with asparagus and vodka sauce. The asparagus was so fresh and tasty, I thought something was wrong. The meal was just filling enough, and just light enough. I asked for marinara sauce on the side because I was in the mood for it and out of curiosity in case I returned. It was not the best marinara sauce I tasted (that was in Venice), but it was rich and thick, and not too much of either one. I enjoyed some of it with bread at the end of the main dish.

The Pinot Grigio was dry, heavy yet light (I can be complicated), just as I wanted.

The profiterol was all right. No profiterol I had so far, even in Europe, beats the one at Dante Cafe downtown. It was just plain vanilla ice cream, profiterol and warm chocolate sauce: nothing too bad and nothing too good.

I will return to Puttanesca again.

My third book, Pocket Guide to Fitness, is available on www.louizapatsis.com, http://www.Authorhouse.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com and http://www.Amazon.com. If you look up my name on those Web sites, you will find my other books The Boy in a Wheelchair and Life, Work and Play: Poems and Short Stories.

Great Link on Mediocrity - Speaking Up

http://escaping-mediocrity.com/the-escaping-mediocrity-manifesto/

Mappamundo

After passing by Mappamundo on Ninth Avenue in New York City many times this past year to and from acting class, I went in today. The room is cozy with many little globes and old maps on the wall. I wondered about the explorers having an inner confidence and light that their travels, with perils and high costs, would lead to their landing and discoveries. I had wheat pasta for the first time. It was not too al dente, as I had ordered. The artichoke, and broccoli that I had chosen to be added, tasted great, but I could not really taste the other vegetables. I wondered in Greece and Italy, where they would most likely be from a nearby garden if they would taste different. When I was little, my Mom managed to make tasty artichoke and peas in tomato sauce from grocery-bought ingredients.
I was not too hungry, and so surprised myself by ordering dessert. I am glad I did. The crème brulee was great. It was too cool inside at first and I asked them to warm it up. I could really taste the cream and eggs. The espresso was good but too little.
The service was not so good at first; the waitress seemed annoyed at my wanting to know about the different dishes.

Field of Excellence: Caring and Non-Attachment (Cross-Post)

Field of Excellence: Caring and Non-Attachment (Cross-Post)
I recently went to a SoHo cognac-tasting event by the House of Louis XIII, makers of fine champagne for decades. We sat in red velvety seats and saw film of how the House has operated. The French host was polite and beaming. Of course he wanted to sell the product at the end, but the overall atmosphere was that of caring, caring for the long process of picking the best soil, finest grapes, and best cask for the product. A high percentage of the grape product went into making excellent Remi Martin cognac, while a tiny percentage went into Louis XII cognac. He showed us how the cask was imperfect on certain edges, to show it was hand-made. He was proud of the 15-year-old barrel, made of 250-year-old oak, and revealed to us at a heightened moment when the film screen went up to the ceiling.

Caring will make it more likely you have a higher level of integrity, a higher level of success in what you do, and love life along the way. Here's the catch: What you care about is your choice. It is not about morality. It is about being true to yourself. As you grow, what you change about may change, but there will most likely be a steadiness to it, according to who you are, that did not change since your childhood. Often, we come around full circle, with more information and nuances, like Dorothy and Odysseus.

This post was cross-posted to www.louizafitness.blogspot.com

www.louizapatsis.com

Movie Buck

Last night, I saw a screening of the movie Buck. It was about a horse whisperer Buck Brannaman. It was a very good movie. I'd make a few changes only. This was the director's debut for Cindy Meehl. What touched me the most was the understanding and connection Buck has for horses, that we can strive to have with each other, and the way he connected his childhood past with his abusive father to the state of some of the horses. The most easily appreciated things about Buck are his authenticity and sense of purpose. And, he watches Oprah!

The most amazing aspect of his care is how he uses his energy field to affect the horses and have them do what he wants so they can both be happy. He says the same can be done with children. He does not like the abusive "breaking" aspect of horse training.

He said the state of our animals reveals something about us. If totally so, I may be in trouble with my cat Psipsina. I never saw a cat whisperer show. I am not sure anyone can tame a hissing cat!

Serendipity Cafe New York City

Well, after knowing about it for years and passing by it many times since taking Martha Graham classes nearby beginning in 2007, I went to Serendipity. Oprah did a special on it years ago in which she had hot cocoa. It was an enjoyable late Spring day, not too hot, and I had a hot cocoa craving. So in I went.

The place was a crowded, loud tourist trap with too many Tiffany lamps. The tables were overcrowded. The service was not too good. The waiters seemed not too happy to be there and the two hosts, or host and head male waiter, seemed peeved and stressed. It was apparent some waiters were there for the check so they can go act later. But I've seen worse service.

The hot cocoa was better than a cart or diner cup, but not that much. Perhaps after blending I think it is 14 cocoas, you don't get the rich taste of any one of them. I used my long spoon at the end to pick some unmelted chocolate off the bottom of the cup, and it had a bittersweet cocoa taste. It was good, but I would not go back again unless I wanted to taste something else from the menu or felt like going to that particular spot with friends. The whipped cream was a step or two above supermarket whipped cream. I felt like having a knife to cut it, although it was not too thick. I wonder if chefs do that. There may have been a little too much cream, which overpowered the cocoa. I separated it at first. The chocolate shavings on it could have been thicker.

Not great but not terrible: I'll give it a 2 out of 5 in my new entertainment scale.

Parvati

As usual, I found a great article in Yoga Journal. This one, by Sally Kempton, was about Parvati and Shiva. You can believe the Hindu story or use it as an archetype. Women she knew used it to see how to balance being feminine and masculine. They wanted to be, for instance, loving and assertive. They wanted to be soft, loving their partners and children, and assertive, saying "no" when they wanted to, saying what movie they wanted to watch, and saying what they did not like.

Parvati was Shiva's second wife and took him out of his doldrums after his first wife Sati died. Together, as in yin yan, I say, "their figures contain the full power of the Absolute". The author says that, when one contemplates them, they "shed a particular quality of light" into our consciousness. Their story inspired the Tantric texts, that are not only about sexual positions. By tuning into Parvati, one can liberate certain qualities in themselves. They enlarge one's sense of Self.

Parvati was powerful in a subtle, soft yet very strong way and inspired Shiva. Many wives do this for powerful husbands, and vice versa; we all have masculine and feminine in us. usually, men have more of the spirit, mind, and logic qualities and women have more of the feeling, sensuality and capacity qualities. (That's what she writes. If this is so, I must be a man. lol)

Parvati's aim was to reunite the masculine and feminine, inner and outer, spirit and soul. Parvati keeps taking on different roles, I can relate. In all the roles, her creativity, ecstasy and strength of will are paramount. She is an impulse to break through one's veils. She is a force of transformation. I like this phrase. Again, there is balance: transformation yet force.

Parvati can be powerful and focused, yet intuitive and caring.

Kempton writes: "The flow of creative will, the devotion that cannot be broken, the strength to live in liberated partnership--all are contained in the figure of Parvati, and they come alive in us when we contemplate her."

Creative will is also a balanced, interesting phrase of, in certain ways, opposites.

Extreme Physicality is All the Dance Article in Backstage May 5-11 2011 Issue

This article, by Lisa Jo Sagolla, ljsagolia@juno.com, points out to the balance needed between artistry/aesthetics and physicality/technicality/ability in dance. She is right on the money. She writes about some of the pros and cons in the increased agility of dancers. This agility is partly due to more practicing in ballet, other dance, Pilates, etc. Dancers often wow us with what they do, but sometimes try to one up the other, as in television reality shows, and lose the flow, creativity and artistry of the dance, and sometimes even the idea/message the choreography is trying to relay. Lynn Taylor-Corbett, choreographer of Broadway's Chess, Titanic and the film Footloose said. Joe Lanteri, executive director of the New York City Dance Alliance said that there are just many more well-trained dancers today, and that it is possible to have artistry with tricks. He says this is why choreography today is not as predictable as it once was. He does advise dancers not to incorporate anything too crazy into their routine unless they can perform it the required amount of times per week on stage, like the usual eight times a week on Broadway.

One of the reasons I like Martha Graham choreography so much is that both the difficulty and artistry/message are there.

Pray and Work

I recently cleared an old bookshelf and found a booklet from the now closed Saint Joseph's Hospital in Queens where my uncle was in 2002. Several authors wrote it. Richard De Haan wrote this one. He refers to Psalm 55:17 "Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice."

He then writes:

"We sometimes forget that God may want us to be part of the answer to our own prayers. We expect Him to do everything, and then we sit back and do nothing.
We ask Him to bless the work of our church but offer excuses when asked to serve. We plead for loved ones to be saved, yet never speak a word f testimony to them. We earnestly intercede for people with serious financial needs, but we won’t dig deep into our won pockets eve though we have the means to help them. We ask the Lord to comfort and encourage the shut-ins and lonely, but we never go out of our way to pay them a visit or send them a note of encouragement.

Yes, God wants to bring our requests to Him, but many times He wants us to add feet to our prayers. Working often goes hand-in-hand with praying."

www.louizapatsis.com

Interfaith Meeting on the Environment

I attended a wonderful event today at the Turkish Cultural Center (TCC). A rabbi, an imam who works for the New York City government, and Father Mark Arey of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese, representing Patriarch Bartholomew, were there. I'd like to see a bigger audience and more religions represented in the future. A United Nations lady was there. She knows a female minster I know involved with Landmark Education: small world. Everyone had wonderful things to say.

I summed them up:

We treat the environment like we treat people: disregard like with the poor and sick.

We need to set an example: The imam had a water bottle. I did tell folks at the TCC though to get recycling bins!

Take action. Start with small steps.

Action can be bottom up, like starting in churches or other centers, or top down, like starting with big religious and government institutions.

We must give back to the Earth. We are not here to be kings of it as much as to live in harmony. Gather Arey said we sin, according to Patriarch Bartholomew, who has presided over six global environmental meetings, from the Arctic Circle to the Amazon, we sin when we hurt the environment, and thus must make amends. Father Arey also said, and the others agreed, starting with youth movements may work.
We must create good habits. A nice Turkish guy later told me his girlfriend got him to start recycling.

The imam had many wise things to say. Like that officials do not care about public protests. They close the windows. LOL We must start with actions. He answered my questions, which he liked, about city recycling: Yes, they do separate subway trash. Logistically, they cannot put blue and green trashcans on corners because of the volume of people and tourists in New York City, even compared to Los Angeles and San Francisco. Our greatest export is trash. A Newark incinerator does not work well, the rabbi said, and pollutes mostly a low-income neighborhood where it is located.

We got together in groups and talked about the event. One leader of each group spoke. I did. I summed up what we'd heard, and said that in places like Greece, Mexico and Turkey, in small town tourists’ spots, tons of bottles and other trash are thrown out each day. Where the consciousness does not exist, laws must be passed.

There will be an interfaith peace event at the TCC at 535 Fifth Avenue on may 4th at 6:00pm.
www.louizapatsis.com

Karen Armstrong at Saint John the Divine in New York City

I just heard Karen Armstrong talk about her compassion initiative. She talked about being open, not ignorant, to other religions. She mentioned how each religion has compassionate and violent aspects, and how texts are chosen. She recommends choosing compassionate texts.

She dabbled into the meaning of "pistis" and the Holy Trinity, two concepts that are Greek. "Pistis" is clear faith, not obedience really, at least how I hear it most often used. For a non-Greek, she did well. I have nuances to add, but won't talk about it hear. I recommend reading her books, listening to her speak, and joining and-or contributing to her Charter for Compassion, affiliated with TED. Email info@charterforcompassion.org.

Here are her books, from Wikipedia.

* Through the Narrow Gate (1982)
* The First Christian: Saint Paul's Impact on Christianity (1983)
* Beginning the World (1983)
* Tongues of Fire: An Anthology of Religious and Poetic Experience (1985)
* The Gospel According to Woman: Christianity's Creation of the Sex War in the West (1986)
* Holy War: The Crusades and their Impact on Today's World (1988)
* Muhammad: A Biography of the Prophet (1991)
* The English Mystics of the Fourteenth Century (1991)
* The End of Silence: Women and the Priesthood (1993)
* A History of God (1993)
* Jerusalem: One City, Three Faiths (1996)
* In the Beginning: A New Interpretation of Genesis (1996)
* Islam: A Short History (2000)
* The Battle for God: Fundamentalism in Judaism, Christianity and Islam (2000)
* Buddha (2001)
* Faith After September 11 (2002)
* The Spiral Staircase (2004)
* A Short History of Myth (2005)
* Muhammad: A Prophet For Our Time (2006)
* The Great Transformation: The Beginning of Our Religious Traditions (2006) ISBN 978-037-541317-9
* The Bible: A Biography (2007)
* The Case for God (2009)[23]
* Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life (2010) ISBN 978-0307595591

From Last Two paragraphs of Man and His Symbols, Edited by Carl Jung

Paradox: Although one may be sure Jesus Christ is the Lord our God, or any other truth, this is also true, and art very much shows us:

"Therefore, what might at first sight strike the reader as a certain vagueness in his ideas comes in fact from this scientific attitude of intellectual modesty -- an attitude that does not exclude (by rash, superficial pseudo-explanations and oversimplifications) new possible discoveries, and that respects the complexity of the phenomenon of life. For this phenomenon was always an exciting mystery to Jung. it was never, as it is for people with closed minds, an 'explained' reality about which it can be assume that we know everything.

Creative ideas, in my opinion, show their value in that, like keys, they help to 'unlock' hitherto unintelligible connections of facts and thus enable man to penetrate deeper in to the mystery of life. I am convinced that Jung's ideas can serve in this way to find and interpret new facts in many fields of science 9and also of everyday life) simultaneously leading the individual to a more balanced, mroe ethical, and wider conscious outlook. if the reader should fee stimulated to work further on the investigation and assimilation of the unconscious--which always begins by working on oneself--teh puropose fo this introductory book would
be fulfilled."

These paragraphs are from the last chapter, by by Marie-Louise Franz
Today I saw a college-age woman with the punk rock meets granny look. She had white, blond purple hair with a long dress and modern jewelry. Bravo.

NOVA Bible Special

This got me to thinking: Who were the Bible's editors?

http://video.pbs.org/video/1051895565

Jung and Religious Symbols

I am reading Man and Symbols by Carl Jung. Although I am in agreement with a lot, I am not sure about all of it. For instance, I am not that much into dreams.
One thing Marie-Louise Franz writes in her chapter at around page 248 is that most religions started with a symbol from the collective unconscious. Many of these symbols existed from many years ago. [She claims that] he thinks that religious symbols at first came from the unconscious, not a revelation, which most religious leaders will not second, of course. I am not sure if the Christian cross existed before Jesus Christ. I would not think so.

On page 253, she writes that he does not believe there is a religious truth aside from human consciousness. I don’t think I agree. But I do agree that people need to experience for themselves from medication to mistakes instead of only taking what elders tell them. That would be total “crystallization”, as she says, of their faith.

She does comment brilliantly on a painting showing the Holy Spirit as a spiral, as he says it often is portrayed. Curiously, in this painting, it is portrayed as spiraling into the paper. She interpreted this as meaning that further evolution will lead not to higher or lower ground, but just to a different dimension. Those who experience this in meditation, synchronicities, communicating with one who is not there, and more, know what I mean. That observation or interpretation was brilliant.

She goes on to write about how Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle says we cannot always know the Truth. Many religious leaders will say this is the basis of post-modernism and threatens them. However, most Christians, for instance, think we can’t know God fully. Jung also writes that language cannot explain it all. This would include Holy Books. This is true. As always, I am in the middle, somewhere in that yin/yang “line” that fluctuates in different times or situations. His individuation, which I may understand, if it is what I think I have been doing for years, is a whole from parts such as light and dark and what they symbolize.

Greek Orthodox Distinctions on the Virgin Mary

On Friday night, after the church service to honor the Virgin Mary before Easter, a theological Ph.D. student and priest gave a lecture about it. The writing needs to be reworked and he missed the major point I knew since a child about her: What is most precious about her is that she was 100% good and humble, what I think no one has or will be in her like again, certainly not me. (It's not my fault; there are just too many idiots everywhere.:)) Now, part of me is a doubting Thomas, but, even if by some slim chance we find out she is not what we all think, was mean at times, etc., it helps to have faith.

In the ways I imagine her, she was all good for everyone all the time. This was affirmed by a senior priest, helping the younger one answer a man who wanted to caution us that she did not co-create with God. Now, I don't know him, but he may be a male chauvinist piglet. In any case, the senior priest said that she was the chosen one to receive God, the most blessed person, above all Saints, and that is why she is exalted. I second that. She was humble, as he said, and completely aligned with the Will of God. he said this was her virginity, not the physical kind. (I think the official policy of the Greek Orthodox Church is that she stayed a virgin throughout her lifetime.) I love this part: We stress who she was a person more than if she was a physical virgin or not, something most people do not know that we do.

The younger priest said we cannot praise her too much, but of course cannot treat her like God. We are to take her as an example. Who follows the Lord's prayer of "Thy Will be done" and forgiving at a high rate? I don't. I love my religion, when it is explored for all it is, and taken in a spiritual and mystical manner it is meant, not fundamentalist.

I was thinking about this more today for a while and let me add: Perhaps she was the co-creator because somewhere in her subconscious (perhaps she was too humble for it to be in her conscious, she held the Possibility of All Possibilities, and did not even need to try. (This kind of thinking is in line with the Law of Attraction, the Secret, being, being a space for and more.) And, as a woman, she miraculously (science cannot explain all of the processes) Co-Created with her blood and body, as mothers do. God could have plopped Jesus Christ on the Earth, descending from the sky, or a wave, but used a woman, who usually have more of a Source or yin energy to them. That's it for now.

Metal Book Find Dating First Century AD

Do these shed light on the last days of Jesus Christ?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110330/ts_yblog_thelookout/could-lead-codices-prove-the-major-discovery-of-christian-history

Assumption or Intuition

Many times people assume, and it's often based on their background. I can write a book on this, but will keep it short so I can go to my Forum on Orthodox Spirituality meeting. Here is a common one: Someone sees a person not working. A common Christian perspective will be that they need to pray, that is their cross for now, or, in certain ethnic groups including the Greek one, there must be something wrong with them, even spiritually. They may have bad luck that we may catch if we get too close to them. Those of the Law of Attraction following will just be sure that their chakras are blocked, their thoughts or energy is off, they are not meditating enough. Some of these may be true for some people some of the time. They may think their being is off as well. But what if one is just being persistent and creating? Would these same people apply the same philosophies and theories to themselves 100%?

This kind of blanket thought is just prejudice, like if people think that black people are not as smart as white people, all divorced people have relationship issues and in no way could the other person have contributed to their issue, etc. These are assumptions, not wisdom or intuition. I am reading a Carl Jung book, and he says that each individual must be taken differently. Inquire, don't say for sure.

I believe an integrated, yin-yang balanced approach of different perspectives is the wisest. Interpretations are truths with a small "t" unless they come from a tuned-in intuition that knows what is True in the moment. Often, that can't be spoken in words. I believe each person has different intuitive abilities, and they can be cultured via exercise, meditation, self-reflection, intention and seminars. We have not talked much so I don't know where your intuition is...Reading adds a little to it if one can get into characters, human motives, etc. Intuition can always grow, while assumptions I find are part of one's family and cultural heritage, and are just conversations "in the air".

Intuition and deep listening go hand-in-hand and are not fast food transformation solutions pretending to be wisdom of the West or East.

Rango

The new Johnny Depp animation flick Rango was not so pretty to look at. Yet I found the symbolism and metaphors great. Water could be taken to mean money. Dirt can be taken to mean resignation and cynicism. Getting through the dirt to get water can be taken to mean doing growth and development work on yourself.

The snake can be taken to be one’s internal conversations against oneself or possibility like not being good enough. We often think we may be exposed as frauds, as Rango was by the snake. He did not kill the bird out of skill. Yet he had to get over the hump, like throwing his hat over the fence, and walk into his future with confidence. What is the worst that could have happen? He could fail and not look good to people. But that had happened before, and it would happen again anyway. Play big and fail big.

The people of the town Dirt had sold out and trusted the mayor, who wanted to control the water, or money, or their thoughts.

At the beginning of the flick, he had to blend in with the dirt, yep, to conformity when it is not of Truth, Integrity or Beauty. Finally he crossed the road, as the armadillo told him. He had a new sense of himself, and so of life. This does not mean it will get easy.

This film was rich in metaphors, like Alice in Wonderland, although not as pretty to look at.

One and Individual

Recently, an Oriental student at NYU overheard a first business conversation I was having with someone as I had to quickly get back to what I was writing so I can get in the subway and get home on time. He concluded I am suffering, don’t think I am beautiful and more. He could not believe I had just been listening to Osho. When I told him that Osho had talked about selfishness, he automatically assumed (what he likes to do – maybe he should meditate more) that it was to gain security. I pointed out he is trying to fix me and he denied it. It was clear from some talk and emails that I have done more growth and development work, have more life experiences and am more authentic. Nevertheless, we can all learn from each other. Given my commitments, I chose not to put the time to communicate with someone how is not open and who wants to talk in the context of his assumptions about me, perhaps coming from his assumptions of the West and beautiful women or actresses. He even said he judges by language or dress, which can change. I pointed out he does not know about the Holy Spirit distinction, creativity or self-expression, and that, if he really is all about being One, he would not be at NYU, later competing for work. He did not get it. When he saw my article for an upcoming ladies’ fitness article, he kept asking how one accepts themselves and reaches for a goal. I said it’s a yin yang balance. He did not get it. I emailed it is about balance. You get it. There is no how, just some tips.
I said one can be grounded and happy, yet feel, win, lose, LIVE…not make all of life suffering and make that wrong. That is one fault of Buddhism at its extreme.

I tested him and said my Mom is really sick and we need money for health care. Not surprisingly, he did not shuffle money from his bank account to mine. But if we are one, my mother is his mother.

Again, it’s about a yin yang balance in be/do, West/East, individual/One. More on this has been written in other posts on this blog.

Charlie Sheen

I am sure you have noticed many of Charlie Sheen's interviews lately.

Some points that he makes are correct. I never thought middle age happened until one is about 55 years old. He is single, and he has his points that many are jealous. There are some men that would do what he is doing if they had the women and money. I am into balances, and having these periods in life, at any age, is up to the individual. One may have gotten married young and chose to do this later. I also think one can experiment with substances rarely if they don’t get hooked. He made some good points on 20/20. It is good when people give love, not advice. People pleasing affects the soul, while work (and more) can feed it. Enjoying moments within moments shows he has multidimensional thinking.

I do think, though, that some of what he said or did may indicate he is “off his rocker” lol. Drugs and alcohol don’t mix. There is no excuse for hitting a woman. We all have parts of our brains with our stereotypes on women, men, races, ethnicities, occupations, etc., but to really be blatant about it and not take each person for their own character does not work. And, as much as I like to say it as it is, I don’t think I’d say anything about a boss who is giving me more than a million dollars an episode, especially when the livelihoods of colleagues are involved. It is key for one to have confidence in their health and themselves. This must be somewhat tempered by scientific fact and his “tiger blood” and “Adonis DNA” may do him in one day. A CNN commentator said the executives are more powerful than he is. Yet Trump said he’ll get a raise because he brings ratings. He’d also get him on the Celebrity Apprentice.

March 8, 2011 He needs help -- meditation, family, Church, something because he is self-destructive. There is nothing wrong with fun, but this is something else. He is trying to give the message not to conform if it is not the real you. That is golden. But, again, he is being self-destructive.

Tuesday Science Times Article on Self-Compassion

Tara Parker-Pope wrote in the Sunday Times about a new book by Dr. Kristin Neff, associated professor of human development at the University of Austin in Texas. The book is about self-compassion. Dr, Neff points out that, while most people show compassion for friends, they show little for themselves, when they make a mistake. I can relate: I recently lost a bracelet. I am not sure if it was real if I’d found it or it was a present. I had allowed a man to get on my nerves. As I took off my jewelry at the gym and was not present. I remember thinking that I am not being careful where I am putting my bracelet, and would lose it. I then recalled several items, including heirlooms, I lost lately. I just looked for a pair of gorgeous shoes and can’t find them. Well, usually things turn up when you don’t look for them. I tempered this with thinking of how much I handle each day well.

The article author went on to say self-compassion is needed when one goes off a diet (although I believe in dieting once in a while, but not diets) or missing a workout. I have written about this in Pocket Guide to Fitness and the Acceptance and Being Grateful blog posts. Do a search. She writes accepting imperfection, although I advocate thinking of oneself as perfect. Who can tell you otherwise?

A key point is that, if one is not self-compassionate, they may get emotionally, and then give up on their nutrition and workout regimen. In a 2007 Wake Forest University study of two groups and diet, the group with the instructor who said: Everyone in this study eats this stuff, so I don’t’ think there’s any reason to feel real bad about it” ate less candy It is important to remind yourself that everyone has feelings of inadequacy once in a while. Dr. Neff will conduct a controlled study to see if self-compassion can reduce anxiety, depression and stress.

You can take a self-compassion test at www.self-compassion.org

This was cross-posted at www.louizafitness.blogspot.com

Being in Awe

I went to my often weekly Greek Orthodox meeting yesterday and was rather bored. It was all stuff I knew except for the beautiful end reminder which I knew in my intuition since attending for eight years my Greek grammar school Saint Demetrios in Jamaica,Queens about how the lovely sensual, material reminders combine with our spiritual worship in the Church and liturgy coincides with Nature, the Cosmos and all of God’s creations.

Although it’s not as bad is it would be in a fundamental situation, perhaps in a hillbilly village somewhere in Greece or the South (God forgive me), I found the context of the meeting to veer too much into dependence and “Give me money, for I know better than Thou”. Much of it felt small, putrid, puny, small-minded and insulting, geared to those that don’t have a deep connection to the Holy Spirit and confidence.

As usual, I believe it’s all a yin-yang balance. I have been and am a personal trainer. If you work in gyms, the manager tells you to show clients exercises on the floor so they don’t think they can do them on the machines, and show them new things enough to keep them hooked and dependent. Unless a client is taking on a new challenge like a Marathon, my goal really is to have them be able to do it on their own, as much as I’d want their money, and of course power. I think being selfish/selfless is another balance. I sure have my ego and it thinks I am the most special of God’s creations. Perhaps that is good for everyone to think on some level. We all have our masks and dark sides, including religious leaders, and we all should have our humble sides and our commitments greater than “My religion is the best.” After a while, that song sounds the same as “Go Yankees!” or “Let’s beat the enemy!”, etc. It is not ultimately what we want.

It seemed the leader thought that social networking, like the type that led to Egypt’s freedom this week, is a threat to the special oligarchy of Church and other leaders. This is not Christ-like or the Truth. The Parliament of World Religions sent links on how people of different faiths worked together in Egypt (see other blog post). The leader seemed to imply that people not of Orthodox faith do not like rules. Hmm, what about an atheist scientist with a Ph.D. that endures years of rules of laboratory research? How about a Protestant dancer who endures years of rules on dance and practice? A Protestant woman in my group protested. A fitness client of mine is an Orthodox Jewish woman who does not even flip a light switch on Saturdays. I'd prefer I could train her on Saturdays, but she does no work. She told me about hundreds of rules Orthodox Jews follow. To me, the rules are important but not as important as being present to the Holy Spirit, self-actualizing and being true to yourself and growing. There is a time that some rules must be broken. For instance, we usually don't use regular grammar in poetry, yet it's usually more touching the prose. It's been written that people don't like to think. People like to group people in black-white categories: religious or spiritual, black or white, artist or scientist, rule follower or rule breaker. Think deeper.

Yes, I think my religion is the best and the Truth. Yet, I believe the most important thing is just what the priest touched on last night: to be present to the Holy Spirit all the time. People spoke about, as Orthodox Christians appreciating Nature, being close to the Holy Spirit, and serving others. To me that is the same thing, yet the priest did not give credit to us catching that important distinction, and just seemed to want to take credit for the Church in observing that our Faith and liturgy are one with God. He almost seemed to want to take credit for Orthodoxy in being in awe on God’s creations. I think Native American Indians or even “witches” or pagans are. The Mayans came up with a calendar, correct? Scientists, even atheists, are in awe. Other Christians or groups are in awe and grateful. Let’s acknowledge each other.

I am most of the time connected to the Holy Spirit, even when I may be doing what the Church says is sinning. We must be part of a group but also be ourselves. We must take part in community but dare to disagree, be ourselves and act. Thank goodness the Founding Fathers did years ago and taught religious freedom, or this country would not be here. People of other religions or atheists may be close to the Spirit, although it may not be the same as us, or Love or Source. Do you want to argue about it? Gay performers may be at One with the Spirit when they are showing the result of hard years of discipline and showing themselves off while being selfless and performing for the audience at the same time. Muslims who defended Christians in the square in Egypt may be too. Eastern philosophies teach us about Oneness.

A woman in my group appeared to be close-minded in saying she knows “The Truth”. “What is that?” I asked. She said she believed in Christ. I wanted to go on: “So what do you want, a medal?” What actions is she doing? Proclaiming being right? Great! We all need that! Another woman and she questioned my input that one is open to other ideas and shares their own in Orthodoxy. They said you don’t have to do that to be Orthodox. I believe you are grounded in your faith but, being in awe of life, you can be in awe of what others have to teach and the continuous growth process for us, priests, and religious groups. Part of being like a child is being curious. After all, if one is walking with the Holy Spirit, is she or he closed and right, or open to contribution and contributing?

Egyptian Freedom Movement: An Interfaith Movement

Here are some wonderful links I received from the Parliament of World Religions on the Egyptian protests. People of different faiths truly worked together.

Egypt’s Muslims and Christians join hands in protest

http://www.parliamentofreligions.org/news/index.php/2011/02/2862/?utm_source=Parliament+Newsletter&utm_campaign=8eed519dbf-Newsletter_12&utm_medium=email

Egyptian Christians urged to work for equal rights in post-Mubarak government

http://www.parliamentofreligions.org/news/index.php/2011/02/egyptian-christians-urged-to-work-for-equal-rights-in-post-mubarak-government/?utm_source=Parliament+Newsletter&utm_campaign=8eed519dbf-Newsletter_12&utm_medium=email

Egyptians Rejecting Religious Leadership, But Not Religion
http://www.parliamentofreligions.org/news/?p=2834&utm_source=Parliament+Newsletter&utm_campaign=8eed519dbf-Newsletter_12&utm_medium=email

Geoffrey Rush in Diary of a Madman

I went on Saturday afternoon to see the Brooklyn Academy of Arts matinee with Geoffrey Rush. Of course he played brilliantly. But I wanted to see more. The character was one-dimensional, for the most part: a person going crazy. It did not make use of Rush's talents, to go in there and make use of various thoughts and emotions to produce a subtle, multi-dimensional view of his character, as he and Colin Firth did of their characters in King's Speech. The New York Times editor said that he never gave us a glimpse into the mad man's head. I
agree that he did not,as much as spewing forth what was on the edge of his thoughts. I'd like to see more of his past or the subtle subconscious thoughts and elements of which the character is not even aware. However, his two-hour monologue (basically) attests to his mastery of acting.

There were I think two other actresses, one playing a maid and a crazy woman. Her Finnish speaking (I am not sure if it is made up), was hilarious. I wanted to see more acting from them. The set was sparse and "crazy", but I love to see different stage sets. I loved the music. Two musicians, playing on various instruments such as guitar, drums and bells, showed the main character's disharmonious thoughts. It was at times riveting and hilarious. We can all relate, I am sure.

You Are Who You Are

A member of the Greek Orthodox religion group I attend on most Tuesdays said that Eastern traditions leave out the God as Father and are therapy. I think that other traditions, whether it is Judaism and Islam with the father figure, or Hinduism with a God that has many faces, or Buddhism with one can argue, the principles of loving kindness and Buddha as something to aspire to, all have our ideal in mind. I also think that therapy can be good, if it is not a crutch, and any religion or practice can be a crutch that prevents you from being brave, making choices, having Free Will or being you.

Rules and a parent-figure are important, and when tempered with growth, freedom and courage to grow. "To thine own self be true" is the greatest truth for me, as I wrote about in another post. "Pan metron ariston", as Socrates said, is key. Too much of anything is just too much and not arista, or excellence, Rule rigidity can turn into arrogance, as Father Frank Marangos commented last night. Too much thinking can turn into mental masturbation, as in trying really hard to figure things out and chasing one's tale, going nowhere. It can end up the same as too much hedonism or candy on the couch.

Michelle Obama this morning told Matt on the Today Show why Barak ate fattening food on the Super Bowl. She maintained, as I have on my fitness blog, it's about balance, not self-denial and suffering.

As Father Frank said, we are all sinners. The greatest and perhaps only real sin to me is not self-actualizing to be what-all you can be fore yourself and others, in a balance of selfish self and Loving self.

Multidimensional thinking is key. Ken Wilber's Integral Spirituality and Integral Psychology are must reads, but not as much as his 1995 Sex, Ecology, Spirituality: The Spirit of Evolution,[ 2nd rev. ed. 2001: ISBN 1-57062-744-4], where he describes the pitfalls in Western and Eastern philosophies, an all scientific views, and fully I as God or Thee as God views.

Check out this brilliant, simple yet deep song by Merle Haggard "I Am What I Am.". Bravo!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhkVOSKI_TU

David Parsons Matinee Show February 6, 2011

I went to the Joyce Theater today to see Parsons. Their dancing was not the conventional type I like. It may be post-modern, but I am not sure. However, the originality and courage of the pieces was great. What I loved the most was the energy of the dancers that escalated toward the end of each piece,instead of their getting tired, including at the last piece.

The envelope was interesting in the costumes everyone wore, and the focus on conveying a message. We can think how mail is different than email.

Sleep Study was cute. Children laughed abundantly. It was a fun piece more than serious dancing.

Hand Dance was beautiful with the interplay of hands, light and music.

Love, Oh Love was cheesy at first, but it was supposed to be, I suppose. LOL I loved the 1970s music feel. The energy picked up at the end, and the dancers came together to conclude that it's all worth it in love.

Run to You was great with on-and-off light playing with the man's body. I preferred last year's performance of this piece by Miguel Quinones, born in Jamaica, Queens, where I live.

Yoga Journal Article on Self-Love

A January Yoga Journal article's title is Nurture the New You. The writer is Dr. Kelly McGonigal, health psychologist and yoga teacher. She says that yoga can lead to self-compassion. People who do yoga, she writes, are more likely to love themselves and not make themselves wrong when they eat too much, skip exercise or yoga, etc. They are not crippled by failure. They care about their own needs and move on from failure. The experience self-love, compassion for themselves and others, joy and equanimity. The Yoga Sutra I.33, she writes, advises to cultivate love for those you are happy (I'd say anyone is the goal), compassion for those who are suffering, joy for those who are viruous, and equanimity for those who make mistakes, including yourself!

Me, Me, Me

Did I mention me? Oh, yeah, of course I did! To me, again, all is a yin/yang balance, different levels or a multidimensional mix of each at different moments. Intuition guides you. If you don't get it, it's because it can't be explained in words. In religion and other growth and development programs, like Landmark Education, and almost every spiritual path, the we or Self is highlighted. Yet often people are really into their ego, but inauthentic about it. They have a mask. Different people have different natures. Part of it may be genetics, part can be soul or environment. We are all part of One, nd must care and make a difference. One perspective is that we are "Dust in the Wind" like the song says. The Universe is vast. Antoher is that we are perfect beings, loved by God. Another is that we have the Universe inside of us. This is all true. It is also true, that, no matter hwo much I signal to my cat to bark for food, or told her if she'd understand, she would not. She is a cat. Meow. Some people are meant to be stars; others monks. If you get a monk who is meant to be a star, he'll steal money, be corrupt, etc. LOL

This year I vow to be selfish in a transformed way. I am committed to pleasure and money for myself, my dreams come true, and having great people who are a loving and intelligent stand around me. This may lead to being able to make a greater difference for others. Oprah, for instance, has her face on all of her magazine covers, several houses, lots of clothes and jewlery, chefs AND a school for African girls, contributions to charity, and a book club.