Gaslighting

I will post something short now, as it is late and I am listening to a wonderful vigil for Saint Porphyrios from Zoodochos Peghe Greek Orthodox Church in the Bronx.

My father always called me "athoa" or innocent in Greek. I am finding out why these last years. It is beyond me, although I do have the capacity both ways good and bad in extremes, that people can be evil, sadistic, jealous, and aiming to destroy others' souls and self-confidence.

They may do this consciously or subconsciously, as I have seen even in close family members, not to mention frenemies and strangers.

Often, this is in the guise that they want to tell you the truth about who you are, your personality, your looks, your talents, your abilities, your relationships, your future. Ultimately, YOU get to say.

Curiously, these are the same people that are most "sensitive" when you tell them a FRACTION of anything back. They often back away like wounded animals. Poor babies

I am a Christian, but often not a good one. I do have a mouth, and will use it. If someone is not with me on my birthday or Christmas Eve, they are most likely or surely not with me. So what the fuck! Let the tongue loose finally.

More is to come.

Happy Saint Porphyrios Day! He said to pray for enemies and be good. I am not usually Saint Porphyrios. God help us, or them.

Older Women and Younger Men

I have cursed less and less through the years, but after reading Kelly Ripa's book, I gather since she has a loving husband and children, parents and in-laws, a good career and millions, I will be authentic --

WTF is the taboo with older women and younger men? Last year a woman who is a year older than I am and who attended my Greek church grammar school, went on in an embarrassed way about how she is THREE (Wow!!!) years younger than her husband. They are married with children from years. WTF I think her older celebrity sister married a much younger man, after a divorce with one probably her age or older.

Come to think of it, most divorces are with men older than women. An uncle of mine, the best man at my parent's wedding, got married for a second time at 45 years old to his wife who was 18. He took her straight out of the villager around 1971. They have seven grandchildren. All three of their children are married. I do not know if they are happy. None of the couples is divorced.

Another lady at the same church recently, who married a Protestant from Trinidad, looked to the floor as if she had just killed a baby elephant or a baby, and said that her husband is THREE (!!!) years younger than she is. They met on vacation, he was a complete gentleman to her, getting her a dozen roses plus one for a girlfriend once, he converted to Greek Orthodoxy and they have three healthy children. A fortune teller from Atlantic City, that we are not supposed to believe in as priests say they open the way to demons, predicted his name or something. So why the hell id she seem apologetic?

Men die before women anyway, so usually women are stuck being nurses, so naturally women should marry younger men, if they meet the "right" one. What matters is if people get along, if it a good fit, if they have enough things in common, if they have enough things to teach each other or complement each other with and a common future direction. 

Research can yield more statistics. I did not check for the precision of these. Here are two I found readily.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/241572/death-rate-by-age-and-sex-in-the-us/

https://www.worlddata.info/life-expectancy.php#:~:text=The%20world%20average%20age%20of,data%20from%20the%20year%202020.

A male dance teacher I had, God bless him, died of a rare brain cancer in his 40s. He had the body of a 20-year-old, at least looking at him, and also was an acrobat, I believe, not easy. He tried many alternative therapies and went to MSKCC. Another dance teacher, a female, died at 102 years old.

They say men are visual. Then wtf are women, especially women artists and editors. We can find a wrong comma in pages of hard science material! We love and overlook beer bellies, wrinkles and rotting teeth! Meanwhile, a woman has a few gray hairs and two fine lines and 35 to 50 years old = 80 years old. WTF! And these men may not even kiss, or as Kelly wrote, be able to find a clitoris (or know what to do with it). Now maybe we can all grow to overlook looks totally, but those or at least chemistry matter. Someone's heart, smarts and especially CHARACTER, may make up for them. Often,  however, older men that are 60 that think of course they will get a 40-year-old (or younger) woman, are a-holes, commenting on any body flaw that they PERCEIVE she has while they are a demolished building. The same goes for those that are 70 thinking they will be with a 50-year-old because they have money or they look so good. WTF Often, they may have utterly racist, cheap and other hideous qualities to boot! I remember an old New Yorker cartoon where an in-shape woman looks in the mirror and sees a fat woman, while a multi-twin beer-belly man looks in the mirror and sees a handsome hunk.

We see acceptance of trans surgery for children, talking about sex to children under 12 years old, and drag queens in classrooms and libraries. (They have their place in art, but not in classrooms or libraries of children.) Yet if a woman is 30 dating a 25-year-old she may be called a "cougar," as if labels like "slut" and "bitch" are not enough! WTF!

I think we should each have a train of good men, younger or not, pining after us, try them out, keep the good and throw out the rest.