Eight Steps of Forgiveness from Martha Stewart Living

Can You Really Forgive?
by Brian Cronin, December 2011 issue, pages 105-107

He claims that nothing is unforgivable.

Step 1: Choose, intend and say you will make a change. Place an empty chair in front of you and visualize the one you want to forgive. Say: "I will forgive you now, because..."Go on and say things like: "I have carried this long enough..."

Step 2: Express your emotions, or truths that need to be spoken. Feel your pain and say your feelings for 20 minutes. Cry if you have to, or punch a pillow. I say do this alone, and then with a trusted friend, or even with the person if they allow you.

Step 3: Release expectations from your mind. This is hard for me to do. I expect people to act in a minimal level of integrity or humanity, as I would (usually ;). He writes that you can accept that people are how they are and will not change. See what you expect and say: "I would have preferred if you..." and other such statements. Imagine your attachment to your expectation dissolving or flying away.

Step 4: Restore your boundaries. You assign that person full responsibility for their actions. Visualize a bubble or what works for you around you as a healthy boundary. See the other person farther and farther away. I would say this may hurt. Imagine you are totally unattached.

Step 5: Get your needs met a different way. Love yourself. I say: Turn to your religious and spiritual beliefs, go to nature, a journal, dance, friends, meeting new people, etc. Imagine being unattached to this person. Raise your arms above, asking God or the Universe to get your needs met a different way. Be willing to receive. I say: This last step may be more difficult than you think. I will blog more about this in the future.

Step 6: Receive healing energy. Imagine light from above and from inside filling you with unconditional love and healing you. Be open from your first chakra down.

Step 7: Send unconditional love to this person. You don't have to be friends, but send love to make your life lighter. Say: "I send you this higher love, and I release you to be yourself. And I release myself from you."

Step 8: See the good in the person you are forgiving. It is like seeing the glass half full. Think of some good qualities they had and good times you had together. I say think they did the best they could given where they were in their evolution. (That can be a bit condescending.;))See what you learned from the experience, like becoming stronger or more compassionate and forgiving.







My third book, Pocket Guide to Fitness, is available on www.louizapatsis.com, http://www.Authorhouse.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com and http://www.Amazon.com. If you look up my name on those Web sites, you will find my other books The Boy in a Wheelchair and Life, Work and Play: Poems and Short Stories.

Face to Face Time

Here is a great newspaper article from the Sunday New York Times on how it is important to spend face to face time with people - see their expressions, use all five senses, etc.
At least in cities, we are doing this less and less.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/04/opinion/sunday/actual-conversation-so-yesterday.html?pagewanted=all

My third book, Pocket Guide to Fitness, is available on www.louizapatsis.com, http://www.Authorhouse.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com and http://www.Amazon.com. If you look up my name on those Web sites, you will find my other books The Boy in a Wheelchair and Life, Work and Play: Poems and Short Stories.

Women, Spirituality and Transformative Leadership Where Grace Meets Power Edited by Kathe Schaaf, Kay Lindahl, Kathleen S. Hurty, PhD, and Reverend Guo Cheen

Women, Spirituality and Transformative Leadership

Where Grace Meets Power

Edited by Kathe Schaaf, Kay Lindahl, Kathleen S. Hurty, PhD, and Reverend Guo Cheen

Check it out: It seems great! Women are usually not thought of as spiritual leaders in most countries (if not all).

http://www.skylightpaths.com/page/product/978-1-59473-313-0?utm_source=Email+Updates&utm_campaign=6976dbe886-Fundraising_2011_Fall_2&utm_medium=email

My third book, Pocket Guide to Fitness, is available on www.louizapatsis.com, http://www.Authorhouse.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com and http://www.Amazon.com. If you look up my name on those Web sites, you will find my other books The Boy in a Wheelchair and Life, Work and Play: Poems and Short Stories.

Humanism

I think UNESCO is great. Here is one part of the Latest UNESCO Courier. I don't think humanism opposes religion. It can bring us together. Enjoy the 56 pages.

http://unesdoc.unesco.org/images/0021/002130/213061e.pdf#page=6

My third book, Pocket Guide to Fitness, is available on www.louizapatsis.com, http://www.Authorhouse.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com and http://www.Amazon.com. If you look up my name on those Web sites, you will find my other books The Boy in a Wheelchair and Life, Work and Play: Poems and Short Stories.

Great Story on Mature Relationships and Men

This story is mentioned in Women Who Run with the Wolves by Estes

http://candidsparrow.wordpress.com/2010/12/06/the-skeleton-woman-an-inuit-story/

Puttanesca

Aside from liking the catchy name, which connotes sexual freedom for women, and fun for all, I enjoyed going to the upper west side hotspot Puttanesca after my Alvin Ailey samba class. The high-ceilinged, brick-walled airy restaurant with huge windows was a comfortable spot, formal but not too formal, to enjoy a moment alone with my New York Times and some work. It's a great place for a romantic dinner, taking the family out on the town or having a casual business meeting.

The service was great. The food choices were explained. A free cappuccino was brought to me later when I complained about the coffee. It tasted watery and cheap. The cappuccino made up for it. I would have preferred that there was a dress code, but on a summer's day, with little children there, I could understand why shorts and sneakers were allowed.

I enjoyed a simple primo dish of spinach cheese ravioli with asparagus and vodka sauce. The asparagus was so fresh and tasty, I thought something was wrong. The meal was just filling enough, and just light enough. I asked for marinara sauce on the side because I was in the mood for it and out of curiosity in case I returned. It was not the best marinara sauce I tasted (that was in Venice), but it was rich and thick, and not too much of either one. I enjoyed some of it with bread at the end of the main dish.

The Pinot Grigio was dry, heavy yet light (I can be complicated), just as I wanted.

The profiterol was all right. No profiterol I had so far, even in Europe, beats the one at Dante Cafe downtown. It was just plain vanilla ice cream, profiterol and warm chocolate sauce: nothing too bad and nothing too good.

I will return to Puttanesca again.

My third book, Pocket Guide to Fitness, is available on www.louizapatsis.com, http://www.Authorhouse.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com and http://www.Amazon.com. If you look up my name on those Web sites, you will find my other books The Boy in a Wheelchair and Life, Work and Play: Poems and Short Stories.

Great Link on Mediocrity - Speaking Up

http://escaping-mediocrity.com/the-escaping-mediocrity-manifesto/