Expectations

The other day I went to a workshop with Om Rupani, who is on my Facebook friends list, about intimacy in relationships, from mothers to lovers. We explored the concept of expectations briefly. We can talk about this for years. I do not like how people say not to have expectations. Some, like Joel Osteen, say to have great expectations, that your strength through God will have you overcome obstacles to have what you want and even beyond — miracles. Tens of thousands of people are members of his church.

I knew by intuition and workshops what he said, yet we re-hear and re-learn. Funny: People spend their time looking at an oak tree and complaining it’s not a pine tree, being right. I am middle of the road on complaining. Do not do it long, wasting time. But do do it with a great committed listener, while both of you are committed to hear what is there, to get what you do not want to tolerate, and to get what you want for the future, your heart’s desire.

As is covered by Landmark Education courses, one primary thing people want is to be right. It happens in individual relationships, and in world affairs. We explored how we have a choice…People are being conniving with themselves. In a way, we are all God, or godlike, in that we can create. But we often say we do not want something but choose those who won’t give it to us, so we can be right. Perhaps this is what happened with Sandra Bullock’s choice in a man. We play games to keep things as they are so we ca just be right about it. This may be happening with some members of Congress. I’d say some believe in what they say on health care, others are getting paid, and others just want to be right. This is juicy but not as juicy as having what we want. Another meeting can be about constituting yourselves to receive and to be with love and abundance. I say that everyone wants to be right at least sometimes, but sometimes people want to really be heard or gotten, not felt sorry for or fixed, and may keep repeating ourselves until we get them.

He said that no one owes us anything. Part of me differs. If we have been good or worked hard, others and the world "owe" us, or it's logical for things to turn out, but often that is not the case. I am set up for shoulds. We are often disappointed. A sense of humor really helps. We can have what we want, if we are continuously aware of what we want, how we sabotage ourselves, and are present. Sometimes we have to surrender to what is there, as the Lord’s Prayer says: “Thy Will be done”. That’s a tough one. I stay still don’t lose vision of what you want.

I am for yin-yang balance. This is one perspective of the Truth. But no one knows the whole Truth. Crap happens is a wise statement to me. All we can do is to keep looking into ourselves and grow. As Socrates said, “Know yourself”. We can be strong and centered whatever the circumstances brig. Movement like exercise and dance are great for this. And forgive ourselves when we do have anger…and express it in constructive ways.

If you expect everyone and everything to go in accord to your expectations, you may be setting yourself up for disapproval. But if you aware of yourself and the present, state to yourself and others what you want, listen and create, you may have a chance. One word with deep possibilities, sometimes easier said than done, but really the only choice. Aargh!